Educational Institutes and the building mindsets

We always talk about empowering youth. We talk about globalization. We talk about equality. We talk about our changing mindsets.

I have grown-up in a small town, where talking to a boy was a crime. People would talk ill about you, and even the most educated upper middle class women would gossip about how bad the 10-12 years old girls were when they used to talk to boys. Fortunately my parents were brought-up in a very urban family, and never really restricted me on interacting with boys. I always thought it’s just a small town thing, and people in Mumbai must be open-minded (Mumbai was a fascination back then for me). Well, my opinion changed in just a year after I shifted to Mumbai.

Now let’s get to the point. Recently I attended a college festival of a quite well-known college in Mumbai. One of my friends was performing there. I was in the audience when I saw that there was a barricade put in the middle on the sitting area, one side was for girls and the other for the boys, that was the first shock. There were NSS volunteers standing around the barricade. Now what these volunteers were told to do is, not to let any guy and girl talk to each other from above the barricade. That was another shock. There is already a barricade put, there are a lot of volunteers to make sure that people don’t jump over the barricade, there are also teachers standing around, keeping a look on all the audiences, then why are these volunteers asked not to allow girls and boys talk to each other? And look at the irony, there is dance & fashion show competition going on, with all kinds of romantic tracks, girls and guys dancing together, hand in hand. Backstage I see girls and guys sitting on each other, chatting having fun and here they are trying to prove that they are much disciplined?

Well, whatever was the reason, Educational Institutes should be concentrating on educating students, I never believed that colleges should inculcate moral teachings, it should in-fact talk about how prejudiced is the society and talk about equality between girls and boys. I don’t know how right I am but this, don’t talk to each other, stand apart, and watch your friends performing is just not right. It is a very sick attitude.

You ignore, and it will grow louder

Last week, a friend, 19 year old, dared to enter the police station to complain about a boy teasing her in the college. Few months back, she dared to fight those monsters, escape rape, and walk to the police station with her story.

‘Xyz percentage of rapes, harassment, torture on women go un-reported’, I see this changing. She is not going to sit quite now, she will shout, shout on the top of her voice, to get justice, to get freedom, to walk with dignity, head held high. I’m smiling, when I type each word, because I know she is happy, she is confident, and she has the sword in her hand, ready to charge on anyone who points fingers at her.

I walk down the road, I see men staring, I see them murmuring, but I walk, head held high, because I know, no-one except myself, can scare me, the sword is in my hands. No-one but you have the grip, you are the only one who has the control, and no-one can touch you, because you have the sword, that you had kept aside all these years, and now you have picked that up. Walk, walk with our head held high, ignore the monsters, they are cowards, they won’t dare come around you, because you hold the sword in your hand, they are scared of you.

Society? I make the society. I nurture the society. I am the power. Society is just a concept, I define the concept. She defines the concept. No, the society will not change, its I who has to change, who has to constantly hold the sword, and be ready to charge it on those monsters. She only makes the grip firmer, because she won’t back down now, she will only wait, with attention, and charge as soon as those monsters come towards her.

From those discriminations, to the assaults, from that harassment to that torture everything will come to an end, soon. You ignore, and it will grow louder. She won’t shut up now, she will shout, she will charge, she will win, because she is I, and I am she.

Teaching- reduced to a mere profession

Teaching:the noblest profession on this earth, very true. Most of my family is into teaching. From my Grandfather to my Mother, most of them have been teaching all their life. My Grandfather is 75 years old now, and he is still teaching. I have heard a lot of people saying, ‘so nice Mrs. Thakkar you get all the Bank holidays, summer vacations, and you don’t have to work 9-5’, well that is true,but people don’t realize teaching involves a lot of hard work, patience and is one of the most difficult tasks.

When I hear my grandfather talk about his younger days as a teacher, I hear so many interesting stories; some make me laugh, and some make me wonder. And when I hear my mother talk about her experience I notice that there is sharp decline in the respect,the gratitude children have for their teachers. My mother has been working as a teacher since she was 20, it has been 25 years today, and today she isn't happy with her profession.

We often blame the education system for everything. We talk about how boring our teacher was, but there is a lot to it. I have just started my career, and I'm paid what my half of what my mom is paid, in spite of having a 25 years experience. Yes, the professions differ, but do you realize that teaching in a school is the base of what a person becomes in the future.

Youth today don’t want to teach, why, because there is no future, where is the growth.  There is an acute scarcity of teachers today, and the entire load is on the teachers who already exist in the schools. There are certain rules for every school, limited subjects; limited periods are allotted to teachers. My mom is in her 40s, and she takes 2 subjects, Science and Maths. Recently she was trained to take Information Technology. My mom has no idea about computers, she does not even know how type a message, imagine she learning computers, about the softwares I haven’t heard in my life in just a month (twice a week) and teach her students. Of course students will find her stupid, she will be laughed upon.

Lack of teachers, declining quality of education, declining respect for teachers,the level of gratitude for teachers going down, and a lot of other problems,affects the future. Teachers' Day has been reduced to a mere ritual. It is high time that the policy makers of the country paid attention to this vital and neglected sphere.

These are only some things I know, I'm sure there are a lot of other issues which need to be addressed urgently!

Talk about Rape!

Have been reading a lot about ‘Rapes’ a lot these days. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has something to say about it. Nobody realizes that talking, tweeting, assuming, writing, debating is very easy, but actually going through the agony, the pain, the disgust, the whole fucking situation (during and after rape) is pathetic, be it a attempt to rape or even rape. Most of us, girls, have gone through an attempt to rape kind of a situation once, or several times in our lives. Stares, touching at all the wrong places, groping, passing lewd comments, is so common that we have started considering it us a part of our lives. When I sit and write this piece, I go back to all the situations I have gone through in the 21 years of my life, since the day I was born. I want to collapse and die right here, not because I'm ashamed or disgusted but because I ignored all of those really disgusting attempts of various men around me, just like that, instead of raising my voice or stabbing them to death.

 People are talking about the rapes going unreported, well, try going to the police, or even your own parents or friends, and narrate what, how, where, when the rape happened to you, you will realize how much courage and determination you need for that. It is easier to sit and shout, get to action, and then go debate in the media. Every person, or rather every girl has two personalities. We are moulded into two different people. One is full of emotions, be it anger, shame, or love, and the other is the practical one. The first is our natural self, which would want to revenge, teach someone a lesson, love a person no matter what, be kind, or extremely rude, and the second one is completely made-up, the one that the society will approve off. Usually the second one is stronger, and forces the girl to shut up in the fear of the society, which includes her family and closest of friends.

Punishment? Stricter Laws? Government Action? Really? All of these are going to help? No, they won’t help, because the Rapists don’t really care. It’s the urge that they care about (no matter how disgusting it sounds) and you can’t reason that out. What they care about is the fun, they wouldn't think about the consequences before committing the crime, they don’t have enough time, the urge, and the girl both will get away if they consider any kind of thinking before committing the crime. You say that all these heinous rape cases being reported by the media will stop people from committing this crime? All this tweeting, debating on national televisions, forming an opinion, defining rape is going to help? No, it is making it worse. I have seen guys talking about rape, discussing about it and laughing, because it is no more a crime, but a fad, a trend, if you are a part of a rape you are cool, you are on TV, people are talking about you, after all any publicity is good, isn't it? Isn't that what we people say, isn't that what media believes?

 Stop it for God’s sake, Since the Mumbai Rape Case happened all that I have been seeing in some of the leading newspapers is RAPES, Rapes all over India suddenly being reported, editorials full of what is wrong and what is right, articles about how a girl should ensure her safety, all kinds of does and don’ts. All of this isn't doing any good, women will still shy away and not report rapes, Men will still commit the crime, there is no end to it, unless we decide to change the way we think, unless we change our belief system, and that is a pretty long process, till then at least stop this sudden love towards preventing rape, only when the crime is committed and reported, and then forget about it, till some other group of men commit the crime again, for the much needed attention, for fun, and for the instant fame.