The CHILL girl

Hi, I want to talk today and I choose this stage because when I am talking to people I know I am not really me.

I am trying so hard to be 'not like every girl' that I forget I am infact a girl.
"Oh no no I am not that clingy type of gf, our relationship isn't like every other relationship, I am chill about things man."

But wait, am I really okay? Its almost funny how well I pretend. Before anyone else points out how I have gained weight, I quickly say it myself, "Oh God I am gaining weight." This is my way of defending myself. It hurts a lil less when you tell yourself things that others might say.

"When was the last time you visited a parlour? Keep yourself groomed", they say.
"Ahh there is so much work, just no time."

The truth is I hate parlours and I don't care about those hair. And you know what go fuck yourself.

But I am chill, I don't feel as much, and common I am not like every girl.
"He has a tinder profile, do you know that?"
"Oh of course I know it, and I am chill about it, its cool."

The truth is I am just another fool. Ignore that pillow turned into a pool.

"What about my self-worth and self-respect? Oh it's too far to reach now. I am absolutely chill now."

I won't overanalyze a situation for more than a few hours or a few years. Trust me, I am cool.

"Seriously you want to buy that pink dress."
"Oh no no"
I will pretend I hate pink coz I am not girly, I am chill. How about denim and some frill.

Secretly I wish I had a 100 shades of lipsticks but hey I am broke. I can only afford a troll.

Chill is the word I have started to hate now. Its my birthday but I am not excited. Chill girls aren't excited about birthdays man. Its just another day. Big deal.

There is so much more to me then being chill but who cares, all they want is a chill girl. I am done being chill, I feel, and I can be a kid. I love balloons and I am in love with cotton candy. I love shopping and some dates mean a lot to me. I am not so fond of travelling, I would rather break a leg on a Saturday night. Its high time I stop pretending for people who mean nothing to me.

Dare you call me chill again or ask me to chill. Trust me I will freeze you with the same chill.