I often look at them and think, is this love or sympathy? You
know that feeling of being caught up in your own thoughts, and never being able
to find the answers. Love – vague but beautiful, sympathy- again vague but essential.
Sympathy because you love them or you love
them because you feel sympathetic. I
have always been caught up with this. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong.
People hate sympathy but it isn't a bad thing, or is it?
Oh look, he needs love, so I’m giving him that warmth or Oh
look he is adorable, and I love him.
Oh look, she does not have a supportive family, so I will
give her as much support as I can, or oh look she can do wonders, why not support
her as much as I can.
Conflicting mind, kind soul is a weird combination. You
never know if it’s the mind that makes you feel for someone or the soul. Those
lovely little sparkling eyes make you do things or that kind little heart
inside you is enough to pick up the brush and paint the future. I have wondered
all my life, trying to figure out if its just me, myself or is it influenced by
an external condition, force or whatever.
Is sympathy really bad, or is this another mindset society
has created for man? Is humanity a condition or is it a natural everyday life
process, I wonder. She kisses my palms, looking at my mehendi. She saves some
candy just so that she can share it with me. He draws a new animal everyday to
get those little stars from me. He smiles a million times, because I like
smiling faces. I look at him and wonder
what will he grow up to be. I look at her and think what will be her next
question.
They all leave home and come to me for 5 hours, because they
love me, being around, or because school is compulsory. They come because they want
to get out of those tiny houses, or because they really love me?
I wonder. I wonder each day. Is it sympathy that keeps me
going or is it empathy?
