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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Facts, not beliefs should be the basis of any investigation

Since last several days I have been keeping the track of all the videos, articles, reports, trolls about Tarun Tejpal molesting a female colleague. I have also been keeping track about the most sensationalized Aarushi Talwar murder case, and in both of the cases, the ideas exchanged, the discussions of the possible situations, outcomes, the statements made, and the real or the made-up stories surrounding them has amazed me.
Look at, how judgemental we human beings are. We do not care about any proofs and evidences; all we concentrate on is our beliefs. There is an immense difference between facts and beliefs, and we fail to understand that difference again and again.

In his statement, I read on Firstpost, Tarun Tejpal alleged that the incident was 'only light-hearted bantering which led to a moment of privacy’ and the victim, post the incident, was out late into the night attending parties and social gatherings.' No matter what the real story is, who is right and who is wrong, the statement is so contradictory. The man, accepts the fact that it was a ‘light-hearted bantering’, which as the tone suggests is very normal for the educated and open people should be and yet what follows is ‘she was late out into the night attending parties and social gatherings’, so what? Someone is disturbed, is out in a professional event, does not have the time to sit and think what someone she respects has done to her, what is the harm in going and partying?

Why we are so entangles in our beliefs, in the rules we have made for ourselves. Why is being disturbed and sad attached to sitting alone, or getting angry or creating a scene? Why can’t someone who is molested, have no expression of insult, scare or anger on her face?

Every girl gets molested at least once in her life, in the hands of someone she knows, how many cases like that have been reported? I was 14 when I was molested by a family member, he caressed by breasts, which had just started to grow. I got up from there and kept and sat besides my mom, and wouldn't leave her hand till we are out of that place. I was still smiling, playing and talking normally to my mom and everyone around; include that person who tried molesting me. I expressed my discomfort only after years, when my family planned to go to their place again, and the plan was cancelled after hearing what the man of the family had done to me.

Before you make statements, or thrust the rules you have made in your own mind on others, come to terms with the reality, with the fact that a women is not always weak, that a women can show no emotions and yet fight for her rights. Every person is different and has his/her own way of dealing with things, and in the eyes of law, facts and only facts are valid, not any belief of self-made conclusions.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Proud of them!

From my childhood I have always felt a strong urge to help others, not necessarily the people in need or the people I know. What I believe is if you know someone can be benefitted with your gesture, you should go ahead and lend a helping hand to them.

Well, that’s not at all the point of what follows ahead. Last Sunday, I visited an Orphanage called, ‘The little Angels Orphanage’ at Madh. One of my friends at Buzzinga Digital was working on a Children’s Day campaign for Berger Paints. They had invited volunteers to come and paint the walls of the orphanage.

Waking up early, on a slightly cold Sunday morning sounds so uncool, but trust me at the end of the day it was all worth, coming back home tired and sleepy only to hop on the bed for the office the next day. People have that sympathetic ‘awwwww’ every time they hear about an orphanage, but those children don’t need the sympathy, they need the love and the respect. They are more self-respecting, aware, enthusiastic & adorable than many of those kids living a comfortable life.  

I offered a little girl, around 5 years old some chakli, she was quick to ask, “kisne diyaa?” She wouldn’t accept it, till I made her believe it wasn’t going to harmful. This is the level of awareness; they won’t just grab it because it is something they don’t get often.

Looking at them, I did not feel any remorse, I felt ashamed. Ashamed of complaining almost all my life of how messed-up everything was, because I cried when someone I love refused to look back, because I cribbed about how dirty and stinky some places were, because I did not respect the very fact that I was living, I had a life, I had someone to look after me, pamper me, shop for me, give me tasty food. These children, in hardly a day, taught me how to love life, how to be happy, how to laugh for the smallest of good things that were happening around.

Every time we walked out of the orphanage for a cup of tea, or a stroll outside, these kids would ask, “aap jaa rahe ho?” and we would reply no we are coming back in a while. As we came back, they would say with a twinkle in their eyes, “aap wapas aaye”. They are so used to people coming and never returning back, that it does not affect them anymore, or it does but they manage to not let it alter their life and happiness. Those little angels were successful in making me believe that life itself in a gift and don’t waste it cribbing and crying.
 

No I don’t feel bad for those, I feel proud of them. I wonder how do people manage adopting one kid out of so many adorable kids.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The colors you fill up in the lives of the one who deserve has no limits

What is making me write this is this amazing campaign that I'm really looking forward to.

Some years back I used to go to this small village called 'Sarsole' in 'Nerul' to teach underprivileged kids. More than I could never teach them, I have learnt from them. They are the examples of super-enthusiastic kids, with no complains that would make you upset or angry at them. A girl, probably 13, came to me once and said, ‘Teacher, I love dancing, but my parents don’t let me dance at home, so I love coming here daily, I get to dance after every class’ When I see us as children, or even my younger cousins, siblings, I see, they study on the condition that they will be offered something like a smart phone, a laptop, a chocolate, clothes or something after their results are out, but for these kids a simple thing like getting to dance after the class is what drives  them to study.

They want to learn, they try, and they are honest to themselves. One boy came to me and said, “I don’t like studying, I just want to learn to speak English”. They are responsible, don’t throw tantrums, and if they do that does not irritate you.

I remember I used to teach them in an open ground, many times there used to not be proper place to sit, but not a single day went when they did not find a chair for me to sit. They wouldn't let me sit on the ground. This respect and love made me go and teach them each day, and when I couldn't it made me sad, really sad. Meeting them made me so happy; I used to forget all my worries and would become a kid with them.

2 years have passed since then, and I still miss each one of them. This Sunday I'm skipping a family get-together to attend this event where we will be painting the walls of a orphanage.

Whoever can, do come for this event on Sunday. Believe me, you will find a lot of peace here.