Talk about Rape!

Have been reading a lot about ‘Rapes’ a lot these days. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has something to say about it. Nobody realizes that talking, tweeting, assuming, writing, debating is very easy, but actually going through the agony, the pain, the disgust, the whole fucking situation (during and after rape) is pathetic, be it a attempt to rape or even rape. Most of us, girls, have gone through an attempt to rape kind of a situation once, or several times in our lives. Stares, touching at all the wrong places, groping, passing lewd comments, is so common that we have started considering it us a part of our lives. When I sit and write this piece, I go back to all the situations I have gone through in the 21 years of my life, since the day I was born. I want to collapse and die right here, not because I'm ashamed or disgusted but because I ignored all of those really disgusting attempts of various men around me, just like that, instead of raising my voice or stabbing them to death.

 People are talking about the rapes going unreported, well, try going to the police, or even your own parents or friends, and narrate what, how, where, when the rape happened to you, you will realize how much courage and determination you need for that. It is easier to sit and shout, get to action, and then go debate in the media. Every person, or rather every girl has two personalities. We are moulded into two different people. One is full of emotions, be it anger, shame, or love, and the other is the practical one. The first is our natural self, which would want to revenge, teach someone a lesson, love a person no matter what, be kind, or extremely rude, and the second one is completely made-up, the one that the society will approve off. Usually the second one is stronger, and forces the girl to shut up in the fear of the society, which includes her family and closest of friends.

Punishment? Stricter Laws? Government Action? Really? All of these are going to help? No, they won’t help, because the Rapists don’t really care. It’s the urge that they care about (no matter how disgusting it sounds) and you can’t reason that out. What they care about is the fun, they wouldn't think about the consequences before committing the crime, they don’t have enough time, the urge, and the girl both will get away if they consider any kind of thinking before committing the crime. You say that all these heinous rape cases being reported by the media will stop people from committing this crime? All this tweeting, debating on national televisions, forming an opinion, defining rape is going to help? No, it is making it worse. I have seen guys talking about rape, discussing about it and laughing, because it is no more a crime, but a fad, a trend, if you are a part of a rape you are cool, you are on TV, people are talking about you, after all any publicity is good, isn't it? Isn't that what we people say, isn't that what media believes?

 Stop it for God’s sake, Since the Mumbai Rape Case happened all that I have been seeing in some of the leading newspapers is RAPES, Rapes all over India suddenly being reported, editorials full of what is wrong and what is right, articles about how a girl should ensure her safety, all kinds of does and don’ts. All of this isn't doing any good, women will still shy away and not report rapes, Men will still commit the crime, there is no end to it, unless we decide to change the way we think, unless we change our belief system, and that is a pretty long process, till then at least stop this sudden love towards preventing rape, only when the crime is committed and reported, and then forget about it, till some other group of men commit the crime again, for the much needed attention, for fun, and for the instant fame.

She & Her - Part 2

She entered the police station, scared; she didn't know the identity of any of those guys, nor the details of the vehicle used for the crime. She just knew that what had happened to her could have happened to anyone. The police were welcoming, made her sit, offered her some water and gave her enough time to start the story from the time she woke up that day to the time she stepped inside the police station

The story was told, heard, believed but still not considered true. As ironic as it sounds. She wouldn't blame anyone for not believing her story because even she did not believe herself. She had no clue what had gone wrong on her part and why was she targeted by those young boys probably from a respected family. She had no clue why those guys did not harm her as long as she was in the car with them, they were not sure? Or they were scared of the crime they were planning to commit? Or they couldn't understand why she did not scream enough and pleaded to leave her? Whatever is the reason, fortunately or unfortunately she was safe.

Attempt to rape and Rape are two very different things. You can’t prove attempt to rape, how do you know that those guys were actually kidnapping her to rape. Who is going to believe her when she herself is dumbfounded about the whole situation? That’s how the society, our law works. A girl being eve-teased, touched or even forcefully made to give away her self-respect, is not considered as heinous as Rape.

She gave her statements to several people at the police station, and every time she narrated her story she could feel the pinch, she would control her tears and kept telling herself to be strong. She had fought with 4 guys at once and saved herself, but even she wasn't sure if those guys were going to rape her or they were just having fun in their normal, boring lives. Every time she gave her statements she couldn't mention the word rape, that made her feel disgusted and she couldn't believe that would have happened to her.

Is it society or is it her moral? Well, Morals are imbibed in us because of the society around us. But was it really rape? Or just another attempt to rape? What was it, that she still feels the pinch when someone mentions it to her, people say she was fortunate to be saved, people call her brave, but do you notice the regret, the disgrace, the disgust behind her constant smile?

Some things cannot be explained, The feeling itself is so strong that it does not leave you no matter how much you try to run away from it, or maybe it is just the way you think and the society. 

She & Her

She stood there scared & surprised, the memories of what happened two months back came back flooding in her mind and she couldn't move,talk, or even ask for any help, because she wasn't sure.

2 months back as she walked sadly on the lane next to her home, hoping to smile as she gets home looking at her room-mates, hearing their stories about how was the whole day, hoping her dabbawala might have given her favourite food, lost in her thoughts hoping to find one simple reason that could make her smile, she came across a car and 4 hungry jerks coming her way and pulling her inside the car.

It took her several moments to realize that she was kidnapped and something really bad was about to happen with her, unable to digest the fact that she could be picked up randomly to be raped as she knew none of the guys in the car. All she could feel was the hands of those jerks touching her and making her feel guilty that she was a girl. All she could do is screaming for help which was probably unheard as the car windows were shut and pleading wasn't going to help in front of these insane people. Well, all of this gives her Goosebumps till date, fortunately or unfortunately these guys couldn't do anything to her and she saved herself somehow. How she saved herself and what happened to that guys in another story altogether.

The real scare started later. She reached home safely with her clothes torn, unable to breathe. She sat, closed her eyes and analysed the whole situation. Was it a illusion? A dream? Or what just happened was real? What was to be done next, should she share this with her room-mates, her friends? Or they will become judgemental about her and her life might get difficult? All these questions kept flooding in her head but finally she decided to inform her friends as she feared of being followed again.

Her friends decided to inform the Police which she was very scared of. She had no idea who those people were, fortunately or unfortunately she wasn't harmed except some scratches and her clothes torn. She had no idea which was that car or the car number nor did she clearly remember those jerks faces. But yes informing the police was important for her safety and for the safety of every other girl who existed in this world. 16 hours she spent in the police station giving her statements to every single police who came across her. Some asked her questions because it was their duty and some asked just out of curiosity. 16 hours of constant questions with some time for sleep and food, where friends and family asked the same questions and the whole story had to be told in details again and again.

It’s been 2 months since then, she stopped going to the police station, and the police might have just closed the case by now. She doesn't know what happened later, because that 1 or 2 week were enough to make her exhausted and desperate to forget everything like a bad dream and move on in life.

 she was followed again, now she is scared. She does not want to bother her family and friends and does not want to go the police. She isn't sure of the guy’s identity or sure if she is followed. She dreads going back to the same procedure all over again. Her social, personal, professional life has a direct effect of this case.  All she knows is she does not want to make a fool out of herself, and her mind isn't on the right track. She just wants to stay alert and face it herself no matter what comes across her.

She is a proud female, believes in herself but refuses to believe the society. Is she wrong anywhere?