'I feel' because you might not feel the same

I don't understand why are things in my school not organised. Why are there not enough people to take up responsibilities given to the amount of unemployment in India. I don't understand why there isn't a proper communication mechanism in place considering that there are 4 different mediums working in the same building in 2 different slots. No I don't suffer from any OCDs. In fact I believe OCDs are over-rated.They shouldn't exist unless you are clinically diagnosed with that. Still they shouldn't exist. Okay. Point. To ask for perfection is not too much. To ask for an organised organisation isn't being sick. Its normal. Very normal. Okay, we teachers will sit for 2 hours extra every Saturday and clean our school but where is the discipline (that we claim to teach our kids and say it is essential for being given a place in the society in the category of good people) in just running the school without any chaos and disorder (I mention both chaos and disorder because I feel both when mentioned alone are lesser evil than what we teachers face in our day to day lives).

My left hand was almost about to get fractured (doctor said) because of this very chaos. I won't mention the incident as that will just ruin my beautiful writing. So you give in the rare people you have to mould your future for saving on hiring more people into an organisation or maybe I should say institution so very important. At first I felt infuriated when a parent said, 'aapko paagar milti hai kaam karneki' I literally wanted to stab her with a pencil that my 7 year olds use to write what I teach. But then I realised she is in the same boat as me (and she can push me in the sea). How can u expect a normal human being to stay calm in a overly disorganised organisation that is very important for the future generation. Anyway I also feel that I can whine better when Im high on a good book (maybe because it just got over, and I'm back to my usual life).

But again 'I feel' because you might not feel the same.

They never said it was easy!

I always wondered, what keeps people motivated to work?  Is it money, fame, recognition, ambition? How do people leave jobs that give tangible rewards and take up tasks that seems almost impossible, hopeless, and difficult? All my questions were answered instantly, when Mr. Nipun Mehta, founder of ServiceSpace said, “If you are connected to humanity, if you form a circle of love, you won’t need money, fame or recognition”. Think about it.

When after 5 weeks of training, I entered my classroom in a Government school, I was more than surprised to see good infrastructure. I had nothing to complain about with regards to the demographics of my school. But this is a very small percentage of the actual scenario. I know fellows working in dingy classrooms, no fans, no windows, 60 students sitting in a small classroom all crammed up, classrooms with tin roofs which rattle and leak during monsoons etc. All the bright, young professionals, who have left their AC offices, for some who have relocated this is a huge change. But they choose to be the part of a movement, a movement that with the utmost convictions says, ‘one day all children will attain an excellent education’.

All this is fine. All this is what we were prepared for when we committed to dedicate two years to this movement. What comes as a shock is, when we enter a grade 6 classroom and realize only 20% of the kids can speak in English and 50% of the class can understand basic instructions in English. We are here to bridge the gap. To bring our kids to their grade levels, and here we start from the scratch. Not only do we struggle with math, fluency, comprehension, writing, but we also struggle with empowering them to understand and speak in English. But we don’t give up. We promise to give our 100% and do whatever it takes to empower these kids.

What comes next is what we fellows face on a daily basis. Instructional hours: on an average, schools in India are for 5 hours. Out of which a lot of time goes by in settling, recess, morning assembly, virtual class etc. Apart from this, there are a lot of last minute changes to the time-table and our plans. Some days the craft teacher wants an hour with the kids, on the other days the Marathi teacher is rushing with her portion. There are days when the principal calls for a meeting, and on the others the school is celebrating Eid, Holi or Diwali. We are struggling every hour. We have kids from various levels in our classrooms and so it is not uncommon to take on these groups separately to help resolve the differentiation which involves extra class, differentiated plans and constant permissions from the school officials to let us use the classrooms apart from the school hours. In some cases, fellows also resort to teaching in open spaces around the schools.

What still keeps us going? One fine day, Safialam comes and fills my empty water bottle with the water that is in his water bottle. When I asked him why is he doing so? He replies, “Didi, you talk all day, you never complain when you have a sore throat, isn’t it our responsibility to take care of you like you take care of us”. We easily term these kids ‘poor’ or ‘underprivileged’ , ever wondered how do they manage to make you smile every single day with so little to give.

I will..Teach for India

She was lost, confused, frustrated, irritated, everything negative that can possibly effect an individual was effecting her. She had spent 3 precious years and graduated, making everyone around her happy. But here she was, she had completed 9 months of her work and there was nothing she had learnt, nothing that had made her happy. She would eat blankly, meet friends and yap about work, and sleep praying somehow she finds a valid reason not to go to office the next day. This frustration would only result in more frustration and nothing else. Happens with most of us, right? So many people end up doing something they would never want to do, all their life.

She always wanted to teach. In-fact her long term plan was taking up part time teaching after earning substantially experience. Suddenly one of her friends, who knew about her love for teaching, asked her to apply for Teach for India fellowship, one day before the deadline. She didn’t think twice and here she is, writing this down, as she is still digesting the fact that she cracked the long process of the selection.

My mom is a teacher. I have heard her complain about Indian Education System. I had a client, who is a Developmental Pediatrician, Dr. Anjana Thadhani, who also owns an NGO, and is a child rights activist too. Several times, in meetings, I have heard her talk about RTE and how it has not done any good to the education system. I somehow connect with the TFI vision and mission, and I think everyone will, once they know the condition and understand the value of education. But thinking, talking, discussing, understanding, and complaining are definitely not the ways we can do anything and I decided to take up this fellowship.

My parents are really cool. They never forced me to take up engineering or get married at the age of 21. They trusted me, and kept me away from home since I was as young as 15. Keeping your daughter away from home for 6 long years isn't’t easy. They did not question me about TFI, until I sat with them to sign my commitment letter. All that they asked me was a simple question, “Are you sure?” They did not repeat the question after my firm “Yes”. But somehow I sense they are not as happy, as overwhelmed, as excited as I am. Maybe with time, they will accept it wholeheartedly.

My question is quite simple. We talk about positivity. Everyone talks about positivity. When we do something good for the people who deserve it, when we give them happiness with whatever we can, shouldn’t we expect that the outcome will be fabulous? Shouldn't we think that we will only reflect positivity? Service to man is service to God, they say, so why do we worry when we give up on good jobs, good opportunities (good here means money and experience) and invest our 2 years in doing something good to others? God is there, right? We believe in the power that we haven’t seen, but we do not believe in ourselves, our power to change something, very little in the society we crib about day in and day out. Musicians, Artists, Actors, each one of them entertain you, make you laugh, cry, feel, right? When you come home frustrated after work, that music makes me calm down, doesn't it? Then why are all these careers not encouraged as much as other careers are.

People will come, ask me and my family 100 questions, what? Why? But she studied advertising no? I’m sure she must have not got a good job. Should it matter to me? I will be walking in the classroom each morning, smiling, enthusiastic, in the expectation that we (me and my students) will learn together the lessons of life. I will sleep in the nights planning how my next day will be. I will happily plan sometime out with family and friends, probably counselling them about their jobs and discussing how to bring change. I’m happy, because there is no leadership like being a teacher, and there no noble profession than being a provider of knowledge and learning.