Cannot seem to find an escape

It began with occasional outbursts, nightmares and feeling of disappointment in myself
It began with the feeling of failure, self blame and extreme anxiety
You know how it feels to not feel yourself?
Like someone has created a rift between you and you
Like you are not you anymore
You don't laugh like before, you cry more often, your anger is insane and you feel scared for yourself
You wake up in the middle of the night, wet, in sweat, mouth open,throat dry
Dad says change your sleeping position, head in the south
Mom tells you to be strong, visit home you will feel better
Brother wants you to start taking those medicines your Psychiatrist friend prescribed
And your sister is in her own mess with teenage issues
There are days you are so positive and the next day you are so negative, so much so you are scared to feel positive coz it's often followed by the feeling of negative
Keep yourself busy, meditate, Yoga might help
But hey will someone tell me how do I get up from the bed?
I don't want to wake up, it's the easiest way to avoid the world, the pain
Easiest to avoid those stares when you walk in that lane
It's funny how you feel you are the most ugliest person around
And still you have a hope to again be found
You know that feeling of extreme helplessness , fatigue, sadness, anger, self pity..Yes that one time when you felt cornered and targeted, that's how I feel every single day.
I pretend to be fine, I pretend I am happy, coz every time I tell people I am not, I don't think they believe me
It's all drama, stop pretending you are depressed
It will pass, it's just a phase
Hey think positive, you will be fine
How about some yoga and exercise
Take those medicines, they will help
You don't want to help yourself
You are used to being mesirable
This happens to everyone
Look they are in much worse condition, stop complaining
Pretend you are happy and stop cribbing
I get anxious, I blame myself, maybe they all are right, maybe I am just stuck here, maybe I am pretending, maybe this is just attention seeking
But it all feels like a web. I can't seem to find an escape.

Do not dare make me feel ashamed of being a woman!

Why are we doing this? Why are we mocking a woman over someone's victories or losses? Why are we sharing those memes and forwarding those absolutely shameful messages? Do we realise this gives rise to what? And what happens when our messed up mentality discusses this? Imagine, your daughter,  your wife, your girlfriend, your mother. Actually don't, doesn't matter, you will still mock other women if not your own. How many women are beaten up each day? Why are they beaten up? Ever imagined? Either the food they cook wasn't cooked properly, or maybe the man is just very drunk, or horny and the women refused to have sex, or maybe she did something that she isn't SUPPOSED to do. Now guys, there is a long list of things not to do for a women. I'm sure I will need some 100 blog posts to write all of them, not today.

I have friends who respect women. Who I feel are normal human beings, but then don't they mock women for being bad drivers or for being possessive and motherly or for caring too much, being weak physically? They do, so many times, and they don't realise that this stupid mentality goes a long way in ruining the mindset. I'm a firm believer of 'A ocean is made by drops of water' and yes that one stupid comment that you pass, fucks up the whole system. Why can't we just try and stop? Why just men, women are against women in this world as well. Common people,  women have died fighting a brutal rape. Kids are being raped daily. Parents don't want girl child. I don't want a girl child, why, because what is the point? And so much risk involved, I can't see another life being ruled over. Things are messed up, but atleast we the educated class can act a little mature and responsible. It's no more a joke, it's a serious mental condition, that needs to be dealt with right now. I don't know how, but I will keep fighting with everyone who says otherwise, not matter if I'm the only one in the crowd of 20-30-40. Do not dare make me feel ashamed of being a women, do not.

Ouch! What an end to the haters of love!

She was wind - you wouldn't notice her, until she walked right past you. She would get awkward every time you turned around to check what was that feeling of extreme happiness that walked past you moments ago. She would drown in her own inhibitions, and yet emerge victorious every time you challenged her. She was wind.

He was a cyclone. It was impossible for anyone to ignore him. He was the disco ball of every party. He would confidently look into your eyes and take your breath away. He would win every challenge that came across him with grace. He was in love with himself. He was cyclone.

And when they met - oh! isn't it pretty easy to guess? The wind was lost in the cyclone. She whirled around, up and down, round and round, she didn't know what was happening to her. She was dancing like she never had never before. But soon, the dust joined in, and then the wind and the cyclone couldn't breath. They wanted to break free but dust was powerful. But hey did they give up? The wind lost her trust, she was lost in her inhibitions, she had stopped breathing. The cyclone kept fighting, he kept fighting for himself, he wanted to break-free no matter what. But the dust was powerful, and he laughed at them, he mocked them, he threw them around, and he entered their hearts.

But who knew, the the wind will suddenly wake up, and try to breathe, and try harder, and she did. She whirled around like never before, danced exactly how the cyclone had taught her to. She danced, and she grabbed the cyclone, now they both were one.

Dust gave up. Too soon? But who will have the guts to challenge, a love so pure? Cyclone calmed down, her hug had worked, he kissed her, and they both came to a stand-still leaving the dust alone. The dust came dashing to the ground. And ouch what an end to the haters of love!