Needs and Wants

“What is the point of this discussion?” I asked my mom in anger as the discussion on whether financial independence is a primary or a secondary quality in a potential groom. She obviously is of an opinion that it is very important for a successful marriage, but is it really that important? No, before you start guessing the background of my mother, let me tell you she comes from a well-educated, open-minded (as cliched as it may sound) Sindhi family, so much so that she was married off to a Gujarati boy very happily in the early 90s after dating him for good 7 years.

I don’t deny that money is important, but does that mean you can compromise on the understanding. I have seen couples earning lakhs together and yet so unhappy. Does money decide your happiness? She argues, you cannot knowingly jump into the fire. But maybe knowingly jumping will hurt a little lesser than getting a shock later. If there is no emotional attachment, no understanding, how do you think will you ever be able to earn to be happy? Earning money isn't easy, why? Because most of us don’t earn to live, we earn to survive, we earn because of a lot of external reasons. Society, People, Luxury, Peer pressure etc. And then we call this HAPPINESS. What are we really confused about? Definition of money, definition of earnings or definition of happiness? I wonder, as I think about all that I hear each day. Is being materialistic a cool thing these days? Why is there such a wide gap between poor and rich? Because we have created that rift, right? Poverty is when you can’t afford the basic things in life, and rich is when you can afford everything in life. But do we really need everything? NEED? Maybe our WANTS have taken over our happiness. We look for happiness in that one dinner we spend on in a luxurious hotel and check-in to show the world. We look for happiness in choosing to travel by flight where we can easily travel by train. We look for happiness when we buy imported cookies instead of those Parle-G biscuits. I don’t say, all this is bad. It sure isn’t but do these things decide how happy we are? They don’t. I don’t know how people without all these comforts of life survive but the belief that we will survive and remain happy without all these temporary things is real happiness. 

Letter to the Boss!

The mail, that one young female had the balls to mail her boss sometime back. I'm quite impressed, I'm sure you will too! 

Dear Sir,

I have been working with you since past 8 months now, and I’m sad to say that nothing really has inspired me till now. Considering that this is my first full-time job, I have been really depressed and unhappy with the fact that I will be taking almost nothing with me when I will leave this place, which is very unfortunate.

Kindly, don’t take the above sentences in the negative; because those are just to make the whole environment I have been working in with the others a little positive. Everyone sticks to a job, if that interests him/her and inspires/motivates him/her  to learn and improve, but here, I haven’t found much of a motivation, there is nothing different that this workplace has given me, and the little hopes that I have from this place is what is prompting me to write this mail to you.

Firstly, since past 3 months, I have been getting the salary late (for whatever reason it might be) , in-spite of the fact that you know I don’t reside with my family, nor is my family very well to do to feed me and pay my rent and other expenses.

Parents educate their children, so that they can earn and live a independent life, I won’t want to ask my parents for money every month, what’s the point of calling myself a PR Executive if I have to still walk up to someone for money? I hope you understand this well, as you are an independent businessman yourself

Now, this month again, I haven’t received my salary, my house owner is yelling at the top of his voice outside my door each day I return home from office for the rent. My tiffin-wala has recently lost his father, and I have kept him hanging for the money (I’m sure he needs the money more than I or you need it), it gets more depressing, as it does not allow my consciousness to breathe.

Secondly, past 8 months, and I’m still get 13,000/-. I don’t think that is enough for the amount of work I have been doing which includes content, client servicing, Media relations, social media (which I have stopped recently, simply because I’m tired of everything) sometimes helping with the banner, making presentations & going for other meetings. According to me I deserve a raise.

Lastly, 8 months and still no offer letter, requesting you to consider that too.

So I would request you to reconsider employing me here. Timeliness, a Good work environment, organized work, and appreciation is all I’m asking for. And I’m sure my colleagues will agree with all the above. It’s already 10^th today, and unfortunately I haven’t received my salary cheque which will take another 3-4 days to credit.

If you feel I’m not good enough, ask me to leave, I will leave with all my dignity. If you think I have been rude above, I would request you to step in my shoes for a while, and if you think I’m justified, do consider this mail seriously.

The final decision is yours. You can chose to ignore, or act upon this mail, either positively or negatively.

Regards,

A fellow human-being

Oh, so you left your job, what now?

“Oh, so you left your job, what now?” – I have come across this question at-least 12345 times in past one month. “umm uhhh I don’t know, not thought about it”, and then you see raised eyebrows, worried faces, and you-are-good-for-nothing cum you-wasted-your parents-money glares. I don’t get this. Recently I heard an uncle saying, “Why didn't you opt for diploma for your son, He will be doing engineering only no?” I don’t get this.“So you are not working now, why don’t you give those Bank exams?”

I don’t have the words to explain people or my own family that I’m not running behind the money, or behind fame, I’m looking for something that will make me happy, simply happy. ‘Oh but, you will get married one day, and then how will you survive and feed your family?” Why do I have to get married, and why do I have to have a family? Why can’t I just do what I like, get paid enough to take care of my basic needs, and live life my way?

“You don’t have a direction in life, first get some professional degree, make sure you will get a job that will pay you enough and then do what you want, secure your life first” I don’t get this. I’m 21, I have quite some time left in my life, which I can live on my own, without worrying about the family, and marriage etc. Why can’t I live it my way? All our lives we run behind securing our lives. I have to study because I have to earn, I have to earn because I have a family, I have a family, now I need to earn a little more, now I have to educate my children, get them married, and die peacefully, and dying peacefully needs money, eh?

Sitting at home, surfing on internet, listening to some music, having no job in hand is such a big deal. Why can’t I sit at home doing nothing for a while? I’m taking up a fellowship for two years. I’m doing this because I love this. But you studied advertising, why do you want to teach now? Oh so you want to be a teacher, why don’t you do B.Ed then? I want to teach for a while. I want to teach because I want to be a part of this particular fellowship, or this particular movement. I want to teach but that’s not the only thing I want to do. So you can do this later in life, first secure your life, get a proper degree, which will give you a permanent job……. But I don’t want to teach later, I might not want to teach later, I might not feel like doing it later, I’m not dying, I can study all my life. Right now I want to do what I can do, something that will make me happy, something that will give a satisfaction

Please stop advising, it is doing no good. It will either discourage me or make me like everyone else. I want to be me, and I want to be happy and money definitely can’t keep me happy for long.