Lost and found

She hated herself. She hated herself for those scars, for loss of people, for pain, for all that added to her confusion, for the organization she worked for, for little things that affected her. She hated herself for her heart, her head and her body. She hated herself because she couldn't love enough or because she loved too much.

Today, as she looks back she has fallen in love with that hate. Hating something, someone is easier than hating you. She does not remember when she suddenly changed, or maybe her thoughts changed. Maybe she was destined to change, but she does not believe in destiny. What was that, that changed her? She fails to get an answer to that, but it does not matter anymore. She needed a motivation, she needed appreciation, she needed respect, and she needed to know that she is absolutely amazing. Sometimes, all you need in life is to be reminded how awesome you are. How your existence is important to someone somewhere somehow. And more often, you won’t believe it when someone who loves you says that. Maybe, maybe because we take our close ones for granted.  

She was a storm, both in and out. And she made it evident almost every time. Today she looks back and realizes she is as calm as those books that speak to you in a way no-one but only you will understand. She loves, and at the same time expects little. She dances, and her feet do not get tired. She sings, even if she knows her voice is not heard. She reads, without the fear of losing interest. She looks up in the polluted sky and finds exactly the stars that are not visible to the other million people. She knows that there is something beautiful is in her that has made her what she is today. She looks back often, just to find out what, what has made her this in a matter of 9 months. Has 2014 brought luck, but the very thought of luck makes her sulk. It isn't luck, it’s something else, self-realization? Yes, maybe.

Sometimes, your thoughts are a hurdle in discovering yourself. Sometimes, you don’t know how you are different from others. Sometimes you idolize someone so much that you want to be them. And then life brings you here, where your thoughts change, your discoveries are immense, you accept that you aren't one of those, and you start idolizing yourself. And from there you rise up, in yourself. You don’t need any more external appreciation, or any more external motivation or any more external respect to be yourself. Because you now believe in yourself, and automatically you start believing in life, in humanity. 

A Language doesn't limit you, human nature limits you

Recently a really talented friend, asked me a question, 'Is English language necessary in every sector of Media?'. A Maharashtrian, enthusiastic, confident and talented girl is what I know her as. Since I have known her, she has always been trying to learn how to communicate in English, and she has improved. When she asked me this question, I was taken aback, she isn't someone who would be demotivated, who would ever think she is any less capable than her counterparts. The point here is the answer of the question she asked.

Well, unfortunately or fortunately, English is one of the necessities today. But if you cannot properly communicate in English does not mean, you cannot grow personally or professionally. Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati, Tamil, Bengali etc. define the essence of India, they mark the culture, the traditions of India. Media is for Masses, and thus Regional media is here to stay, is my opinion, but of-course, a lot of scholars argue that survival of Regional media is under threat, taking in account the globalization. 

Haven't we forgotten what is media, and why is media? Development, Globalization. Westernization, cannot change the basic motto of media. Media is to inform, to influence, to change, to empower the masses, and most of the India still depends on regional media. I have known people, educated, well-versed in English, and yet prefer reading a Marathi, Gujarati or Bengali newspaper. And in my opinion, the power of English, as a language cannot be as influential as a regional language! The ease that a regional language provides to express ourselves cannot be provided by a foreign language.

Now on a personal level. How many Indian clients, we meet today, know how to converse in English properly? Okay forget that, how many Indians will laugh at you when you talk to them in their mother tongue? Aren't there any successful, filthy rich, well-known Indians who still struggle with English while talking or writing? Yes English is a global language, and it is important to be able to communicate in English, but not being able to communicate, does not limit you, it becomes difficult to grow and survive at a point, but not impossible. Growth majorly depends on what you communicate and how you communicate, not on what language you communicate in. I find myself highly incompetent when I can't communicate properly in Marathi, in-spite of living in Maharashtra from past 21 years, I find myself highly incompetent when I cannot communicated in my own mother-tongue. I find myself highly incompetent when I cannot understand certain words in Hindi, in-spite of Hindi being the national language of India.

So, my dear friend, trust me, you are a talented female, and your efforts in trying to learn is commendable. Do not let anything demotivate you, because, a language doesn't limit you, human nature limits you. The people who think you won't grow if you don' know a language, limit themselves. Nothing can ever stop you, unless you want it to stop you.