Therefore, wander!

Since past several months, I have this sudden urge to travel, travel as much as I can, as much as I can manage. And surprisingly I have been coming across a lot of blogposts, articles, stories about travel. Recently I read an amazing article written by Dileep Padgaonkar, in a weekly news-magazine, and it just filled me up with more enthusiasm.

Lord Indra- well-known God in Rig-Veda, is known as the protector of travelers. In Aitareya Brahmana, he says to a young man named Rohita, "There is no happiness for him who does not travel, Rohita! Thus we have learnt. Living in the society of men, the best man becomes is a sinner. Therefore, Wander! The feet of the wanderer are like the flower, his soul is growing and reaping fruit, and all his sins are destroyed by his fatigue in wandering. Therefore, wander! He who is sitting, his fortune too sits, it rises when he rises, it sleeps when he sleeps, it moves when he moves. Therefore, wander!"

I couldn't agree more. Whats the point in staying at one place forever? It's like a frog in a well, you never really come out, and till you don't dare to come out, you don't know the possibilities of the world. I believe that you rot, when you stay at one place forever. Your brain starts rusting, and you become someone that people make you, not someone you can be. There are less risks, less adventure, and less discoveries. There is nothing that you don't know about your area, you almost know everything there, know most of the people, there isn't much challenge in making new friends, meeting new people. You have a life, but the constant updating of yourself is missing.

Wander, because your life is a gift, and you need to constantly upgrade the gift. You would want to learn to live their way, learn to eat their way, learn to talk their way, and even learn to live their way. Wander, because, your brain needs new food, your heart needs new friends, your body needs new air.Wander, because risks are adventurous, because your brain needs some exercise, because there is joy, because the happiness of 'discovering places yourself' is more than 'I know it all'. Wander, because you don't want to rust and rot, because moving means growing, because it is the best part of learning, because knowledge and experience are directly proportional, because you sin when you stay at one place forever, because traveling is satisfying, the feeling is orgasmic.

If you still don't agree, or do not relate with the feeling, I will quote Lord Indra once again here, because he puts the idea perfectly:  "There is no happiness for him who does not travel, Rohita! Thus we have learnt. Living in the society of men, the best man becomes is a sinner. Therefore, Wander! The feet of the wanderer are like the flower, his soul is growing and reaping fruit, and all his sins are destroyed by his fatigue in wandering. Therefore, wander! He who is sitting, his fortune too sits, it rises when he rises, it sleeps when he sleeps, it moves when he moves. Therefore, wander!"

The memories came whirling around like a cyclone

All the memories whirling around like a cyclone. She yells on the top of her voice, but she is not able to hear her own voice. She puts her hands on her ears, and wants the screeching to stop, but it just does not. She goes blank the other moment, with everything around coming to a standstill. She murmurs something to herself, but her voice refuses to be heard. She bangs her head to the wall, and suddenly the memories come flooding in: He holding her hand, and whispering into her ears, “I will never leave you”. Tears roll down her eyes, but the smile does not leave her lips. She is happy because he had promised to stay true to her; he did not leave her side, even when everything had lost its meaning.

Everything was repeating, when she least wanted it to repeat. He was back, standing right front of her in disguise. She started getting carried away in the sea of love, she had no clue it would hit her so hard one day. There was so much similarity to everything, so much so that she hated it, but she had offered the remote control of her emotions to someone already. She was being controlled and she had no clue what was happening to her. Emotions were rushing down her veins, and she could feel them shiver. She wanted to break free and hug herself, for she was the only one she trusted the most, yet she could feel love and hate contradicting each other every moment.

Something came crashing down outside the window, and she woke from her dream. She put her hands on her heart, and felt her heart beating really fast, was it just a dream? Empty house, fan making some noise, she stepped down on the floor, it was cold, her body refused to move. She wanted some warmth, a warm hug could do wonders, but she was scared, one warm hug could owe her entire life. And then the knock on the door, memories wouldn’t let her alone.

He/She does not care enough? Keep Calm & Love Yourself

You will let someone, who does not care enough to decide foryour life. What do you usually do when you wake up in the morning? Look for your phone? Hope that, the person you consider special must have messaged, to say sorry for something that happened last night, or a week back, or to tell you how much you mean to him, or that he dreamt about you? Till how long will you let someone else define your happiness?

You are in your 20s; you have at least 30, or say 35 more years to go. You know right, how long that is? Will you want to spend all your life behind that one person who does not care enough?

Don’t you miss being a child? As a child you got up in the morning, looking outside the window, staring at the sun, packing for an adventurous day at school, learning, playing, and talking all day. Coming back tired, looking forward to yummy food & may be your favourite cartoon. Don’t you miss that instant happy sleep, and waking up directly the next morning?

Who says you can’t cope up with this thing called, ‘quarter-life crisis’?  Wake up, stare at the sun, let your phone be there, beeping all the time. The messages can wait, but not your life.

Walk up to someone who has been there always, who cares, and is within the reach, right in front of you, pass a smile. No such person in your life? I’m sure you own a mirror at least.

Make yourself breakfast. Delicious- compliment yourself, pack some and share with the people at work. Super-bad, curse yourself and promise to do better the next time. Get on your feet and go to the work with the same innocence you walked to school each day.

I’m sure you don’t want to end up graying your hair so soon. Look there, a lot of people, expect a lot from you, work harder, and earn yourself some experience that counts. Don’t like your job? Quit. Risk is a part of life. Find a new one, or simply work on yourself, learning never stops. Start loving yourself.

Life is very short, and yes, you don’t want to waste it onsomeone who doesn’t care enough. Create your own identity.

Inequality also begins at home

Since past several months, something has been constantly disturbing me. I have tried to put it down here; I don’t know how you guys will perceive it. Views, opinions are welcome in the form of comments.

For instance, there are two siblings, one being a boy and the other being the girl. Both are in their 20s, both of them have a wish, maybe to buy something expensive, of course a middle class cannot afford to spend on both the things in the same month, and one of them will have to wait. What my questions is, often why is a girl made to wait? Why can’t a father or a mother ask the boy to adjust, and wait?

Another instance, both of them are earning, the girl wants to spend her salary on her wish, but she isn’t allowed to do so. Why? That money has to be saved for your marriage. It is a saving. Sounds sensible, agreed, but then when the boy earns, he goes straight to Dominoes, spends as much as he wants, comes back home, and says he wants to buy something from his salary this month. Parents will argue, try and explain him that he should not spend on something not essential, but in the end, give up, and let him do what he wants to.

At the same time I have seen a lot of families where the scenario is balanced or exactly opposite but most of the times, it is the same story mentioned above.  What I have narrated above is just an example, a lot of such incidences happen every day.

I’m lucky enough to have parents who since I was kid, always said, “marriage? Forget that, earn enough for yourself, learn to manage our expenses yourself, and then we will get your married to someone you want to get married to”. I have been staying away from home since 5 years now, but even today, when my mom has to take a decision regarding my brother, his life, his career, anything, I’m called for my opinion and views. My brother demanded that he should be allowed to ride my scooty. My Dad clearly stated, “Ruchika is coming next week, if she allows you to use it, you very well can”, and no my brother did not feel insulted, in fact he was confident enough that I will never say no to him. This does not mean, the boys in my family aren’t important. What is important is that, the sister is elder, and she has all the rights to decide for her brother just like his mother or father.

There is no high or low. There has to equality. There has to be logic. There has to be respect for every individual. If you treat your daughter second, and your son first, then expect the same behavior from your son for his wife and his daughter. The same behavior will be passed from generation to generation, and a woman will never come out of the social problems she has been facing since ages.

Happiness is You

Love never dies. Hope is constant. Wish is unavoidable. Life isn't perfect. All that can be altered is you.

Most of our life seems messed up when we expect it to be altered, to be better, to be near to perfection, to be like the way we would like it. But happiness could never be defined, and if someone did define happiness, it is nothing but you.

All of this seems so irrational, when you apply it in your life. You still expect, you still want the other to make you smile; you still desperately want to be happy. Happiness is all everyone wants. But what gives one the desired happiness differs.

Sometimes you give-up relying on others for that smile, but you still expect people not to ruin that smile, or not to be the reason for your sorrow. So again you are relying on others for your own happiness.

Sometimes you just cling on to people, because sometime in life they were the reason for your happiness, they still are, or maybe not, but we tend to expect them to keep us happy. So again your happiness is in hands of someone else, who has defined happiness for himself in a different way then you.

Happiness is love for yourself, love for your own strengths, your weaknesses. It is the confidence, the patience, the kindness you possess, for yourself.

Loving yourself gives you the unconditional happiness and the strength to love the other.

Still I would say Happiness is over-rated. Isn't being sad also satisfying sometimes. How many times did you cry and cry and then slept like a baby? We will come to that some time later.  

On your Birthday: A Virtual Gift from me to you! XOXO

As much as my memory goes, It was July 2010, when I first met this really TINY (yes yes tiny), cute female who turned out to be one of my closest friends over the years. This Blogpost is dedicated to those 4 years (well, almost) of my life that I spent with she being incredibly huge part of. 

To Shreya,
My love (No, I am not a gay)

Lets start this here, I'm sure you will kill me for this picture, but I'm also sure you understand the importance of this really sad picture of us. I think this is when we actually started to talk so much, all about You, Me, and how very much LIBRANS we are! ummm...yes, yes, PROUD LIBRANS!!!

BWHAHAAHA, Yes you have turned out to be a sex-bomb over the years! *Wink Wink*

Not many would understand the relationship between us. We aren't the gooey mushy kind of friends, we don't have pyjama parties, we aren't insecure about sharing our friends, and we don't discuss lipsticks (I don't). We are unpredictably best friends whenever it is convenient for us, and rest of the times we prefer not to bother each other, still care. You know right? That I love you! 

I look like your mom here!!!! 

The pretty, tiny girl that you are, your smile is so contagious that there have been times in college when I used to simply keep looking at you, or get jealous of that curve on your face (sounds, creepy right? confessions confessions!) You have always been a lady, who is stunning and strong at the same time. 

ahem ahem!

For every time that we have said 'pakk raha hai yaar', for all the mood swings, for those one or two cold wars we have had, for all that libran talks, for every time we sat and cribbed about our lives, for every time we discussed how bloody giving we are, all said at once, 'you are someone I would never imagine to be freinds, for looking at you, I'm so much reminded of myself, and till today I have remained confused about if I like you or hate the similarities between us' (confused us forever you know)

This incredibly amazing picture! 

Those times when I wan't very fat, and you were a cute little ball (forgive me for the description) and today, when I'm a fatass and you are a sex bomb, I love it all, You would say 'pakka mat yaar, u r soooo pretty', yaaa maybe, but still please don't you deny the fact that I'm FAT now! but I love myself because you know we are Librans, we can't hate us (umm...we can actually)

Not just Jazz by the bay (show-off)

We can ever get tired of complaining, We can fake the smile perfectly, hold on to the straight face, ignore when we want, get attached and detached pretty easily (provided the person opposite doesn't hold any grudge), love unconditionally, crib about life, yet be so lively. Dance and cry uncontrollably , love and hate ourselves at the same time. We are the perfect example of lil drama and lots and lots of pin straight life (PIN STRAIGHT). We are so cool and also so sad at the same fucking time!

With love and all the weirdness!

Yes, I will always be right here, waiting to hear to your complains, here to make you feel good about yourself, here to make you smile when low, here to make imaginary plans and enjoy the temporary excitement!!!!! And I'm here to get admitted with you on the bed next to you when we both suffer from Anxiety-induced blood clot!!!

And yesh, you will always be that tiny, pretty, completely mad friend, And we will always keep hogging on all the sweets in the world (more of Gulab Jamuns) and so much fish!!!! I love you as much as you love Gulab Jamun & Dance combined together!!!

Love,
Your Twin Libran!
XOXO

Now give me this!!!!!

You make a plan, are super-excited about it, and somehow it is all ruined.

This was the third event they had missed together. She made the plan 2 days back. ‘Listen, we need to do 2 things this month, one attend xyz exhibition and two go and celebrate Oktober Fest somewhere’, she had told him 2-3 days back on whatsapp.

His reply was clear, ‘Jayengey’, he said. The exhibition was ending soon, last two days, and she thought to her, weekend, weekend is the best time to go there. She will be free, mentally also. But somehow before she could say anything, he had some urgent work to be completed. They missed it yet again.

She wanted to attend it, because the exhibition was about something they both would love to attend. Very rarely their likes matched. And this was something both of them were passionate about. This had happened the third time.

She was upset, wanted to meet him, but he was busy with his work. She planned to meet her girl friends instead, but considering the work hours they could meet only late in the evening. Informing him was important, but as always, that made him upset. ‘jaaaa’ he replied to her.

Next day she had plans to meet her girly gang. It becomes really difficult to keep in touch once you start working. And then there comes a time when you really want to meet those college friends and talk about everything you can. She was happy and determined to meet them, click pictures, bitch, and feel content.  He was upset once again. He rarely said it directly, he normally changed his tone, or just suddenly would get caught up in some work and tell her that he will talk later.

She had plans next day too. She mentioned that too. He was already upset or maybe it was just in her head. He rarely said it directly. ‘Leave me alone when I’m upset, I will be fine later’, he always said. But that moment would all ruin it, she would keep thinking about him, even around her friends. ‘That is the problem, you think a lot, did I ask to think’, he would say then. But she cared, cared about his happiness, his approval mattered to her.  ‘So why do you plan something you know will make me upset’, he said. What about her happiness? Who will think about that?

Birthday Post - I'm feeling Lucky

Some 21 years back, a really beautiful lady was 9 months pregnant, and was out with the love of her life, to watch the colourful and musical festival of Navratri on the streets of Ghatkopar, when she started craving for an ice cream. So the obedient husband, his best friend and the lady went to a nearby restaurant to have some ice cream, apparently the ice cream was called 'gadbad ghotala', and suddenly she realised that the baby inside her tummy wanted to desperately come out and dance to the tunes of the garba music! That was 27th September 1992, and the baby was successful in coming in this world on the 28th of September 1992.

 Till date, Navratri has been her favourite festival, and garba her favourite dance form. Unlike most of the families in India, this particular family was looking forward to a girl child, and their happiness knew no bounds today, 21 years back. It is 21 years since that day, and till today they have been proud to have, not one, but 3 beautiful girls in their family.

 Today on my 21st b'day, I feel lucky to be able to pick up my phone, understand, and be able to write about my feelings. I feel lucky to know my Birth Date. I feel lucky that all my 21 birthdays I had a cake to cut, I had an opportunity to celebrate it. In spite of being a girl child, In spite of being a women, In spite of coming from a not-so-modern family. I Feel lucky to have a FAMILY.

Two Different people, Two different perspectives!

He decided to buy it, and she was happy, because she always wanted it, but could never buy it. They researched around it day in and day out. After a lot of research he canned the plan of buying it at all. That made her sad, but never mind, she would convince him someday, she convinced herself.

One afternoon, suddenly he wanted to buy it again. She smiled to herself, she was successful. But she never knew there was a lot to come. The research started again, and this time she had to convince him to buy what she wanted to always buy, and yes yet again, she won.

It was bought, she was happy, he was happy too, finally something they both loved, wanted was theirs. He loved to click and she loved getting clicked. He clicked her with his newly bought camera. She was the first one to get clicked with his brand new camera and the happiness knew no bounds.

Some days back she wanted the camera, just, because she wanted to click, because she wanted to explore, because suddenly she felt like she could click, she asked him for it. He did not refuse, but forgot. He forgets a lot of things that she says, because there are other important things to remember, Or because he has a habit of forgetting things. She ignored.

One fine day, happiness was around the corner, both were busy with their smart phones and then she looked at the screen of his phone. He was talking to his best friend who is one of the most important parts of his life. And she realized that he is selling it off for another one.

He felt bad that he hadn't told her, but he hadn't told her because he wanted to surprise her with the new one. That is so sweet, and that made her happy from the inside, but what distressed her was that she was attached to the old one, she wanted to see it, touch it, yes he owned it, but wasn't she equally a owner, or maybe not. She loved it, it was her first one, their first one, and she wished to see it. But he had a plan, a plan to surprise her, to see that smile on her face, is it right to ask him about this plan, was it right to ask him to get the old one back so that she could bid it a goodbye.

Whose mistake is it? Who has to compromise/understand/adjust? Who should let it go, and embrace the happiness for the other?