Oh, so you left your job, what now?

“Oh, so you left your job, what now?” – I have come across this question at-least 12345 times in past one month. “umm uhhh I don’t know, not thought about it”, and then you see raised eyebrows, worried faces, and you-are-good-for-nothing cum you-wasted-your parents-money glares. I don’t get this. Recently I heard an uncle saying, “Why didn't you opt for diploma for your son, He will be doing engineering only no?” I don’t get this.“So you are not working now, why don’t you give those Bank exams?”

I don’t have the words to explain people or my own family that I’m not running behind the money, or behind fame, I’m looking for something that will make me happy, simply happy. ‘Oh but, you will get married one day, and then how will you survive and feed your family?” Why do I have to get married, and why do I have to have a family? Why can’t I just do what I like, get paid enough to take care of my basic needs, and live life my way?

“You don’t have a direction in life, first get some professional degree, make sure you will get a job that will pay you enough and then do what you want, secure your life first” I don’t get this. I’m 21, I have quite some time left in my life, which I can live on my own, without worrying about the family, and marriage etc. Why can’t I live it my way? All our lives we run behind securing our lives. I have to study because I have to earn, I have to earn because I have a family, I have a family, now I need to earn a little more, now I have to educate my children, get them married, and die peacefully, and dying peacefully needs money, eh?

Sitting at home, surfing on internet, listening to some music, having no job in hand is such a big deal. Why can’t I sit at home doing nothing for a while? I’m taking up a fellowship for two years. I’m doing this because I love this. But you studied advertising, why do you want to teach now? Oh so you want to be a teacher, why don’t you do B.Ed then? I want to teach for a while. I want to teach because I want to be a part of this particular fellowship, or this particular movement. I want to teach but that’s not the only thing I want to do. So you can do this later in life, first secure your life, get a proper degree, which will give you a permanent job……. But I don’t want to teach later, I might not want to teach later, I might not feel like doing it later, I’m not dying, I can study all my life. Right now I want to do what I can do, something that will make me happy, something that will give a satisfaction

Please stop advising, it is doing no good. It will either discourage me or make me like everyone else. I want to be me, and I want to be happy and money definitely can’t keep me happy for long.

The words didn't betray her. That dream did.

It came as a feeling of joy. She couldn't believe it as happening right inside her mind. She could feel each word she was reading, and connecting so easily with the simple things the book talked about. It was as she was in conversation with the book. It was like the book asked her if she wanted it, and gave her exactly what she asked for. The plot shaped up just like she was imagining it to be. As she read one word and guessed the other in less than a second, she was right about each word that followed. It felt like both the book and she had some telepathic power. She seldom read books, given the fact how lazy reader she was. But every time she did, she knew where was the book heading, she exactly knew what will happen next. Maybe she picked me predictable books, but it gave her happiness. It gave her the feeling of a competition that she won almost all the time.

She would say, “I’m in love with you”, and before she completed her sentence, the book would say, “oh! How much do you love me? Every book she picked up, could talk to her, would become her best friend, or even a lover and could read her thoughts. She felt like she was the one writing the book. It never betrayed her.

Not until, one day she picked up a book, just out of desperation, she was missing someone to share her thoughts with for a long time. She hadn't got enough time to read, or rather complete a book. She had left several books half read, because there was no joy in predicting them, she thought. That day she picked up this book, and promised to herself that she will finish it, no matter what. She started to read from it, and soon the book gave her the joy she was longing for. As she reached the climax, she realized she was tired, and decided to sleep. As soon as she entered her dreams, she couldn't help dreaming about the book. Dreams in a way are so uncontrolled. It’s like you are in a state of trance, and you are tripping and falling, but not being able to control yourself. She dreamt about this book, taking an unexpected turn. She tried controlling it, but she just couldn't, so helpless she felt about everything. Next morning, she woke up quite early, out of desperation of completing the book. She started exactly from where she had left, it betrayed her. It did not went like she expected it to go. It went like it was in her dreams. She felt betrayed. She gave up. She gave up after two chapters.

Today, her friend gifted her the same book. Her friend was quite excited, and wanted her to finish it quickly so that they could discuss it. All these years she hadn't read any book, as she felt betrayed. Today as she opened this book again, as promised to her friend, she couldn't believe she was reading the same book. The joy she felt was similar, but it kept going as she was predicting it in her thoughts. It ended just like she expected it to. She was surprised. She had found that friend again. She had found her love again. It was the same old lover she had missed all this years, and she realized how wrong she was about it.

The words didn't betray her. That dream did.

Educational Institutes and the building mindsets

We always talk about empowering youth. We talk about globalization. We talk about equality. We talk about our changing mindsets.

I have grown-up in a small town, where talking to a boy was a crime. People would talk ill about you, and even the most educated upper middle class women would gossip about how bad the 10-12 years old girls were when they used to talk to boys. Fortunately my parents were brought-up in a very urban family, and never really restricted me on interacting with boys. I always thought it’s just a small town thing, and people in Mumbai must be open-minded (Mumbai was a fascination back then for me). Well, my opinion changed in just a year after I shifted to Mumbai.

Now let’s get to the point. Recently I attended a college festival of a quite well-known college in Mumbai. One of my friends was performing there. I was in the audience when I saw that there was a barricade put in the middle on the sitting area, one side was for girls and the other for the boys, that was the first shock. There were NSS volunteers standing around the barricade. Now what these volunteers were told to do is, not to let any guy and girl talk to each other from above the barricade. That was another shock. There is already a barricade put, there are a lot of volunteers to make sure that people don’t jump over the barricade, there are also teachers standing around, keeping a look on all the audiences, then why are these volunteers asked not to allow girls and boys talk to each other? And look at the irony, there is dance & fashion show competition going on, with all kinds of romantic tracks, girls and guys dancing together, hand in hand. Backstage I see girls and guys sitting on each other, chatting having fun and here they are trying to prove that they are much disciplined?

Well, whatever was the reason, Educational Institutes should be concentrating on educating students, I never believed that colleges should inculcate moral teachings, it should in-fact talk about how prejudiced is the society and talk about equality between girls and boys. I don’t know how right I am but this, don’t talk to each other, stand apart, and watch your friends performing is just not right. It is a very sick attitude.

The memories came whirling around like a cyclone

All the memories whirling around like a cyclone. She yells on the top of her voice, but she is not able to hear her own voice. She puts her hands on her ears, and wants the screeching to stop, but it just does not. She goes blank the other moment, with everything around coming to a standstill. She murmurs something to herself, but her voice refuses to be heard. She bangs her head to the wall, and suddenly the memories come flooding in: He holding her hand, and whispering into her ears, “I will never leave you”. Tears roll down her eyes, but the smile does not leave her lips. She is happy because he had promised to stay true to her; he did not leave her side, even when everything had lost its meaning.

Everything was repeating, when she least wanted it to repeat. He was back, standing right front of her in disguise. She started getting carried away in the sea of love, she had no clue it would hit her so hard one day. There was so much similarity to everything, so much so that she hated it, but she had offered the remote control of her emotions to someone already. She was being controlled and she had no clue what was happening to her. Emotions were rushing down her veins, and she could feel them shiver. She wanted to break free and hug herself, for she was the only one she trusted the most, yet she could feel love and hate contradicting each other every moment.

Something came crashing down outside the window, and she woke from her dream. She put her hands on her heart, and felt her heart beating really fast, was it just a dream? Empty house, fan making some noise, she stepped down on the floor, it was cold, her body refused to move. She wanted some warmth, a warm hug could do wonders, but she was scared, one warm hug could owe her entire life. And then the knock on the door, memories wouldn’t let her alone.

Love - in every small way is meaningful

Love – I have always tried to understand this really complex and simple feeling that exists in the world. No-one could define it, the definition changes with each kind of a individual involved in the feeling, and then society comes with the most common of the definition, and start believing it, following it, falling in the feeling that has been defined by thousands of people who have lost love, cried and fought and never really sustain love.

I think Love is the most complex feeling a human being possesses. Love is essential but at the same time you want to run away, because you say, you don’t understand it, or maybe because you, like many others believe that when you love someone beyond limits, you tend to lose that person. Well, we forget the fact that, we love ourselves more than others, and 2 people who love themselves, try to control the other and lose it. Well, thats how it is, unless you possess immense respect for the other and agree to let them own you, or maybe give in to their love, which hardly happens, because your ego and the care do a weird summersault in your head.

We, Humans have defined love according to our own convenience. Today, ask anyone, everyone has a different understanding of the feeling love, but if you observe, everyone follows the same love, which is defined by the society. Very rarely you find people, who would want to break the barriers and love in a way that will be flawless and never-ending. I always tend to ask myself, why can’t you love two people at once? You won’t necessarily have sex with both, or plan to get married to the both, but still you would love both the people equally, and want to spend equal amount of time with both. But no, society limits love. You can love just one, and stay true to him/her, you cannot cheat on that person, but no, I'm not talking about cheating, it is just love for both, and it isn't shared, because love does not have limits, you can love everyone around you, with the same sincerity, with the same passion.

Well, but we tend to mix the beautiful feeling of love with mundane feeling of possessiveness, jealousy and blind faith and then lose it forever, because once you fall prey to these feelings, they don’t leave you, they stick to you forever.

Love cannot be defined, because it is not something you don't need to understand, it is something you want to feel. Everything in the world does not have meaning. That, what you feel, with absolutely calm mind, with no judgements, is what is meaningful. And love in every small way is meaningful.

You ignore, and it will grow louder

Last week, a friend, 19 year old, dared to enter the police station to complain about a boy teasing her in the college. Few months back, she dared to fight those monsters, escape rape, and walk to the police station with her story.

‘Xyz percentage of rapes, harassment, torture on women go un-reported’, I see this changing. She is not going to sit quite now, she will shout, shout on the top of her voice, to get justice, to get freedom, to walk with dignity, head held high. I’m smiling, when I type each word, because I know she is happy, she is confident, and she has the sword in her hand, ready to charge on anyone who points fingers at her.

I walk down the road, I see men staring, I see them murmuring, but I walk, head held high, because I know, no-one except myself, can scare me, the sword is in my hands. No-one but you have the grip, you are the only one who has the control, and no-one can touch you, because you have the sword, that you had kept aside all these years, and now you have picked that up. Walk, walk with our head held high, ignore the monsters, they are cowards, they won’t dare come around you, because you hold the sword in your hand, they are scared of you.

Society? I make the society. I nurture the society. I am the power. Society is just a concept, I define the concept. She defines the concept. No, the society will not change, its I who has to change, who has to constantly hold the sword, and be ready to charge it on those monsters. She only makes the grip firmer, because she won’t back down now, she will only wait, with attention, and charge as soon as those monsters come towards her.

From those discriminations, to the assaults, from that harassment to that torture everything will come to an end, soon. You ignore, and it will grow louder. She won’t shut up now, she will shout, she will charge, she will win, because she is I, and I am she.

He/She does not care enough? Keep Calm & Love Yourself

You will let someone, who does not care enough to decide foryour life. What do you usually do when you wake up in the morning? Look for your phone? Hope that, the person you consider special must have messaged, to say sorry for something that happened last night, or a week back, or to tell you how much you mean to him, or that he dreamt about you? Till how long will you let someone else define your happiness?

You are in your 20s; you have at least 30, or say 35 more years to go. You know right, how long that is? Will you want to spend all your life behind that one person who does not care enough?

Don’t you miss being a child? As a child you got up in the morning, looking outside the window, staring at the sun, packing for an adventurous day at school, learning, playing, and talking all day. Coming back tired, looking forward to yummy food & may be your favourite cartoon. Don’t you miss that instant happy sleep, and waking up directly the next morning?

Who says you can’t cope up with this thing called, ‘quarter-life crisis’?  Wake up, stare at the sun, let your phone be there, beeping all the time. The messages can wait, but not your life.

Walk up to someone who has been there always, who cares, and is within the reach, right in front of you, pass a smile. No such person in your life? I’m sure you own a mirror at least.

Make yourself breakfast. Delicious- compliment yourself, pack some and share with the people at work. Super-bad, curse yourself and promise to do better the next time. Get on your feet and go to the work with the same innocence you walked to school each day.

I’m sure you don’t want to end up graying your hair so soon. Look there, a lot of people, expect a lot from you, work harder, and earn yourself some experience that counts. Don’t like your job? Quit. Risk is a part of life. Find a new one, or simply work on yourself, learning never stops. Start loving yourself.

Life is very short, and yes, you don’t want to waste it onsomeone who doesn’t care enough. Create your own identity.

Inequality also begins at home

Since past several months, something has been constantly disturbing me. I have tried to put it down here; I don’t know how you guys will perceive it. Views, opinions are welcome in the form of comments.

For instance, there are two siblings, one being a boy and the other being the girl. Both are in their 20s, both of them have a wish, maybe to buy something expensive, of course a middle class cannot afford to spend on both the things in the same month, and one of them will have to wait. What my questions is, often why is a girl made to wait? Why can’t a father or a mother ask the boy to adjust, and wait?

Another instance, both of them are earning, the girl wants to spend her salary on her wish, but she isn’t allowed to do so. Why? That money has to be saved for your marriage. It is a saving. Sounds sensible, agreed, but then when the boy earns, he goes straight to Dominoes, spends as much as he wants, comes back home, and says he wants to buy something from his salary this month. Parents will argue, try and explain him that he should not spend on something not essential, but in the end, give up, and let him do what he wants to.

At the same time I have seen a lot of families where the scenario is balanced or exactly opposite but most of the times, it is the same story mentioned above.  What I have narrated above is just an example, a lot of such incidences happen every day.

I’m lucky enough to have parents who since I was kid, always said, “marriage? Forget that, earn enough for yourself, learn to manage our expenses yourself, and then we will get your married to someone you want to get married to”. I have been staying away from home since 5 years now, but even today, when my mom has to take a decision regarding my brother, his life, his career, anything, I’m called for my opinion and views. My brother demanded that he should be allowed to ride my scooty. My Dad clearly stated, “Ruchika is coming next week, if she allows you to use it, you very well can”, and no my brother did not feel insulted, in fact he was confident enough that I will never say no to him. This does not mean, the boys in my family aren’t important. What is important is that, the sister is elder, and she has all the rights to decide for her brother just like his mother or father.

There is no high or low. There has to equality. There has to be logic. There has to be respect for every individual. If you treat your daughter second, and your son first, then expect the same behavior from your son for his wife and his daughter. The same behavior will be passed from generation to generation, and a woman will never come out of the social problems she has been facing since ages.

Don't walk away

It was just another day; they had not spoken properly for a week now. And in that one week, her life had gone upside down. She had taken such decisions of her life, for which he was responsible equally, but was not there for her.

Some two months back something had gone terribly wrong with her, and he was right there, besides her, helping her out of it. But all that was flushed down the drain now. What is the point now? He isn't there for her throughout, he left her midway. She had to face it alone, and he made it worse, because now she had to start from the beginning, learn to stand for herself, and stop hoping he would come for her.

Last one year was frustrating for both, yet she stood for him every time, and he wouldn't walk away forever. They both tried hard to make it work, but unfortunately he lost his patience and walked away, promising he would never return back, and warning her to stay away from him. And coincidently it happened when she needed him the most, she went through the trauma all alone, without putting him in trouble, or creating a fuss out of it.

He returned back, a week later, the same day she emerged victorious in moving out of him, and creating a whole new identity for herself in her own mind. He returned and it wasn't very long since he had left, so she fell for him, yet again.

It is just another day today; they haven’t spoken properly since three days now. He says he will, but he said that a day back too. He says he will call, but she has a meeting to attend. He says he will talk, but what about her work. Of course you don’t disturb someone when he/she is at work. And of course you don’t irritate someone, when he/she is having fun with friends. She understands, but what about her time.

It isn't that important that in a relationship you communicate daily. But when the need arises, you do need to communicate. And for a matter of fact, communication can never be one-sided. It has to be two-sided. Moody she understands, Space she understands, but ignorance for the one you have loved so dearly that you have kept giving her chances, she doesn't understand.

It’s time to move away, when the value decreases, priorities change, when standing on the road and talking to random someone becomes more important the person waiting to hear from you.

The world is a small place, someone somewhere someday would take it all away from you, you might never regret it, sit there and say, ‘what has to be yours, will be yours’ but remember, earning something, and treasuring it needs efforts.

Happiness is You

Love never dies. Hope is constant. Wish is unavoidable. Life isn't perfect. All that can be altered is you.

Most of our life seems messed up when we expect it to be altered, to be better, to be near to perfection, to be like the way we would like it. But happiness could never be defined, and if someone did define happiness, it is nothing but you.

All of this seems so irrational, when you apply it in your life. You still expect, you still want the other to make you smile; you still desperately want to be happy. Happiness is all everyone wants. But what gives one the desired happiness differs.

Sometimes you give-up relying on others for that smile, but you still expect people not to ruin that smile, or not to be the reason for your sorrow. So again you are relying on others for your own happiness.

Sometimes you just cling on to people, because sometime in life they were the reason for your happiness, they still are, or maybe not, but we tend to expect them to keep us happy. So again your happiness is in hands of someone else, who has defined happiness for himself in a different way then you.

Happiness is love for yourself, love for your own strengths, your weaknesses. It is the confidence, the patience, the kindness you possess, for yourself.

Loving yourself gives you the unconditional happiness and the strength to love the other.

Still I would say Happiness is over-rated. Isn't being sad also satisfying sometimes. How many times did you cry and cry and then slept like a baby? We will come to that some time later.  

You make a plan, are super-excited about it, and somehow it is all ruined.

This was the third event they had missed together. She made the plan 2 days back. ‘Listen, we need to do 2 things this month, one attend xyz exhibition and two go and celebrate Oktober Fest somewhere’, she had told him 2-3 days back on whatsapp.

His reply was clear, ‘Jayengey’, he said. The exhibition was ending soon, last two days, and she thought to her, weekend, weekend is the best time to go there. She will be free, mentally also. But somehow before she could say anything, he had some urgent work to be completed. They missed it yet again.

She wanted to attend it, because the exhibition was about something they both would love to attend. Very rarely their likes matched. And this was something both of them were passionate about. This had happened the third time.

She was upset, wanted to meet him, but he was busy with his work. She planned to meet her girl friends instead, but considering the work hours they could meet only late in the evening. Informing him was important, but as always, that made him upset. ‘jaaaa’ he replied to her.

Next day she had plans to meet her girly gang. It becomes really difficult to keep in touch once you start working. And then there comes a time when you really want to meet those college friends and talk about everything you can. She was happy and determined to meet them, click pictures, bitch, and feel content.  He was upset once again. He rarely said it directly, he normally changed his tone, or just suddenly would get caught up in some work and tell her that he will talk later.

She had plans next day too. She mentioned that too. He was already upset or maybe it was just in her head. He rarely said it directly. ‘Leave me alone when I’m upset, I will be fine later’, he always said. But that moment would all ruin it, she would keep thinking about him, even around her friends. ‘That is the problem, you think a lot, did I ask to think’, he would say then. But she cared, cared about his happiness, his approval mattered to her.  ‘So why do you plan something you know will make me upset’, he said. What about her happiness? Who will think about that?

What have you done, it has left her so numb

What have you done, she is so numb,

she loved you so; you never really know

She wanted to roam around, talk her shit out,

But you never came back, the faith you lacked

What have you done, it has left her so numb

She sits and thinks sometimes, about all the good times,

but all the bad is done, and it has left her so numb

Yes you have your own life, and she was a part,

she made you her life, and it made her so numb

Every little bad thing you said, made her depressed

Every good thing you said, got a smile on her face

Every kiss that you made, gave her so much faith

Every mistake that she made, put you away from the faith

She knows there is no future to this, but somehow there is so much hope to it.

Like a fool she sits and dream the good things

Her life is like a boat stuck somewhere

She knows the direction, but can’t make it there

Numb she is with no one there

she will figure it out, but don't know when....

She has lost it all, that could make her rest

She has found, nothing, that will make her the best

One seed that she nurtured with the care,

couldn't grow and none ever cared....

Life’s like that everyone said

But when asked why, no one cared

You will be fine, they said

But when asked how, they left her there

Two Different people, Two different perspectives!

He decided to buy it, and she was happy, because she always wanted it, but could never buy it. They researched around it day in and day out. After a lot of research he canned the plan of buying it at all. That made her sad, but never mind, she would convince him someday, she convinced herself.

One afternoon, suddenly he wanted to buy it again. She smiled to herself, she was successful. But she never knew there was a lot to come. The research started again, and this time she had to convince him to buy what she wanted to always buy, and yes yet again, she won.

It was bought, she was happy, he was happy too, finally something they both loved, wanted was theirs. He loved to click and she loved getting clicked. He clicked her with his newly bought camera. She was the first one to get clicked with his brand new camera and the happiness knew no bounds.

Some days back she wanted the camera, just, because she wanted to click, because she wanted to explore, because suddenly she felt like she could click, she asked him for it. He did not refuse, but forgot. He forgets a lot of things that she says, because there are other important things to remember, Or because he has a habit of forgetting things. She ignored.

One fine day, happiness was around the corner, both were busy with their smart phones and then she looked at the screen of his phone. He was talking to his best friend who is one of the most important parts of his life. And she realized that he is selling it off for another one.

He felt bad that he hadn't told her, but he hadn't told her because he wanted to surprise her with the new one. That is so sweet, and that made her happy from the inside, but what distressed her was that she was attached to the old one, she wanted to see it, touch it, yes he owned it, but wasn't she equally a owner, or maybe not. She loved it, it was her first one, their first one, and she wished to see it. But he had a plan, a plan to surprise her, to see that smile on her face, is it right to ask him about this plan, was it right to ask him to get the old one back so that she could bid it a goodbye.

Whose mistake is it? Who has to compromise/understand/adjust? Who should let it go, and embrace the happiness for the other? 

Love is not a sacrifice!

Certain people in life leave a long-lasting impact on you. Some are warm and walk along with you without you knowing at all, and some just leave you as soon as you get into some trouble. Yet you fall in love with those who are the most difficult to get, who you feel are better, smarter than you.

The love is so deep, deaf, blind that all you can see, hear, feel is just that one person. He/she becomes your lifeline; you can look into their eyes forever, and can hear that person till the end of your life. So much so that it frightens you to be so addicted to a person. You, for a matter of fact, know that this is not how it should be, but the love is so dumb and deaf that it never understands. Only your heart works day and night, your brain stops functioning.

Then comes a point when your intense love becomes a habit, it becomes a ritual, you don’t imply to irritate someone, but your constant looking into the eyes, your constant talking, texting, calling frustrates that person, and then comes the understanding part. You slowly and gradually stop losing control on yourself and unknowingly the mood, behaviour  words of that person start controlling you. But still the brain does not respond, the heart keeps getting hurt.

One fine day you wake up to see that your lover has left forever, He/she is still there, because it is difficult for that person too, but there is no love. The love has left both of you for some good, but still the brain refuses to respond, all that works is the heart. You remember all that you guys have done for each other. You cry and cry and cry, people, friends, family, everyone starts talking shit about that person, but you refuse to accept. They ask you to move on, but you just can’t.

This is the time you need each other the most, but no, both of you think about yourself, about your heart. You cross-examine yourself, start finding faults in you. You blame yourself for everything. You feel paralysed  helpless, a part of you is walking away and you can’t do anything about it.

All the good memories linger around you, and all the bad keeps forcing you to leave. You are stuck in between nowhere. You know there is no future, but still you want to give it a chance, in spite of giving it a chance 1000 times before. Everything around reminds you of that one person. Then you start thinking that the person isn't happy with you, so why cling, leave him, and sacrifice your love.

No-one knows what is right and what is wrong. When in love people have their own definitions of love, and when love is lost, you ask yourself what is love, remember Its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all ~Alfred Lord Tennyson, never regret, cherish your love, because when there are 10 bad things, there are 10 good things happened. You might not be able to ever forget, but you will ultimately forgive. Moving on is a little over-rated, a person, truly in love never moves on, he/she just makes herself believe that there is hope, and lives to get back the love.

She & Her & Some Hope

She is a girl, fearless girl, who has been brought up with immense love and care. Her family has given her freedom, made her into an independent women, given her everything she needed, and moulded her into a responsible women.  In spite of being brought up in a small town, she hasn't been any different from her other counterparts. She stepped into Mumbai, to live on her own, when she was just 15.

Today she is a 21 year old woman, and when she hears about these rapes around the country, one feeling that haunts her is Anger. She is not scared; being scared is not going to help. Telling her story will only make people point fingers at her. Raising her voice will get her all the more stares and challenging the rules set up for a woman of this country will only increase her chances of getting raped.

Every morning when she walks down the road, there is a feeling that someone is constantly following her, that someone has his eye constantly at her.  But she ignores them all, walks down the road anyway, head held high, staying alert. Sometimes she sits alone and cries, cries for her freedom, cries for some safety, cries because her male counterparts are safe, cries because she is a girl, but then she goes off to sleep, because reasoning has never helped in this country. 

A gang rape, which came under the limelight, makes the people hurl abuses at the government, the police, and the country. What about those which go unnoticed each day? And forget about the rape, the same people raising their voices on the social networking sites, will discuss about how the girl will spend her life. Traumatized for sure, but she isn't dead, she can lead a normal life, if you let her lead one. She doesn't mind saying this, that rape is over-rated, yes it is OVER-RATED, because we don’t stop giving sympathy, no, the victim does not need sympathy, she needs hope.

She will live in Mumbai, will not leave India, she will have the same respect for men in her country, but she will have no trust. She will go out, meet her friends, might as well come late at night, and will always know that every moment there is chance of getting molested, of getting raped. The memories won’t stop haunting her; in fact she will go through the same feeling, every time women will be raped in India. She will lead a normal life, but will know that there won’t be a moment when she will be safe. She will continue to live on her own, head strong, with little hope, that one day she will be safe, and till she gets to see that one day, she has to live, live with the memories, live with the hope.

Love - Conditioned or Unconditional ?

What do know about love? What have you understood about love? What makes you fall in love? How do you know if you are in love?

As ironic as it may sound, but love was the simplest and the most complicated feeling that existed according to her. She had fallen in love several times and believed that love could be shared and could happen more than once. Every time she broke up, she used to take months to move on, but once moved on she used to fall in love once again, not that she forgot the love for her previous boyfriend but still loved her current boyfriend as much as she loved the previous or even more.

Love for her was a very pure feeling, and she couldn't lie about it just because the society will call her a cheap or even a slut, or because her current boyfriend will get hurt. She always gave her 100% and was always loyal, but like love, loyalty cannot be defined. Being loyal doesn't mean you are not allowed to think about a third person, you are not allowed to appreciate the other person or you are not allowed to be human to other guys around. Being in a relationship should not restrict you or your feelings. Your love for someone doesn't mean you are bound to him. And if you say you haven’t fallen for any person, be it for his charm, looks, or just nature, since you are in a serious relationship, then 99% of the people are lying. Lying to their partners or lying to their own selves, or just binding their own selves to something that isn't acceptable.

Many people will argue that, people in love are supposed to be possessive. Firstly nothing is ‘supposed to’ in love. It isn't bound by rules and regulations, if it is, then it isn't love, it’s a compromise, a show-off or an adjustment. And yes possessiveness is necessary and natural but again it cannot be defined. There is a difference between being possessive and being insecure. Love is respecting a person and accepting him/her like they naturally are. People change when they fall in love, people do adjust when they are in a relationship but that change and adjustment should not be forced or even influenced, it should be natural.

Nobody can answer what is love, not even Shakespeare or even Shahrukh Khan. Love is different for each individual. She might believe in something that her partner won’t believe in. Both the people should be able to accept each other with the differences. It’s not always about what society thinks, it’s about what you and your partner think. Love is an amazing feeling, let be as amazing with will, don’t get your wishes around it and spoil the feeling.